You may be offended on finding yourself listed in here...
don't worry, it's not by name!
Bureaucrats, petty power-grabbers, and jobsworths
Anyone who tries to exercise power or control because they're so
pathetic that they need to to bolster their own self-image is liable
to be trampled utterly by me, and I don't want to hear about their
deprived childhoods (because they're typically spoiled brats anyway)
or how society made them do it (because it hasn't made me do it, and
I'm not that hot on self-control!).
Form-filling and pencil-pushing
In particular, I don't like having to trawl around my collection
of information to find things that the organization receiving the
information probably has anyway. But I've started to collect some of
my relevant information into
one place (a file mastered on my portable PC); it's a pity I can't
carry it in some machine-readable format to give out as appropriate.
People who talk for the sake of it (or not to be not talking)
I can't stand it when people want to talk for the sake of not
being not talked to... the sort who come up to buttonhole you like they're trying to
chat you up. Even though I know it's to do with loneliness, and I've
been through something like that myself, I cringe and run from these
people... I can't stand the creepy sycophancy.
Pointless laws and regulations
The EU (or EC, or EEC) law-makers really make me see red.
Examples of annoying European laws:
banning trade in particular traditional varieties of
some species of vegetable, on the grounds that they're
banning the only sort of low-mounted front bike lamp
brackets that can't swing into the wheel and cause an
accident (in case you hurt yourself on a bracket that
can't swing round).
planning to ban door-to-door delivery of milk, in case it's
Well, maybe that's a bit of a generalization. But I'm inclined to
agree on this with Mahatma Ghandi, who, on being asked by a reporter
Mr. Ghandi, what do you think of Western Civilization? is said
to have replied I think it would be a very good idea.
There's plenty of street-lighting in towns. If you want
street-lighting, move into a town, and leave the countryside for
people who've got a life. And if you start wingeing about ``What if
I get attacked?'', ``I'm afraid of the dark!'' and all that
stuff, I can point out the example of a female friend of mine -- no
physical amazon type! -- who is blind, and goes wherever she likes, by
night or by day, while not being able to see the little that you can
see in the dark -- streets-lights aren't necessary if you've
got a properly functioning brain.
Well, how pathetic can you get. Commonly done in cars, eg
speeding and tailgating. This sort of thing presumably belongs to
people who still resent being told what to do when they were kids, and
now feel that, to be independent, free-thinking free-responding mature
adults, they have to do the opposite of what people in general hope
they will do. So in fact they just end up being anti-social and
despised. This seems to have become the state mentality of a large
cross-section through a certain ex-colony, although I'm glad to say
there are many from there who disown this kind of idiot. I'll write
something more scornful than this soon.
... such as looking where they're going, eg when crossing a road.
These vermin simply can't be bothered to make the effort for anything
beyond their own immediate wants. They get things like the hated
Zone made for them.
Too stupid or lazy to look where you're going? Come to Cambridge's
Pedestrian Zone -- made for people like you, by people like you.
If I thought it was genuine mental handicap, I'd be more sympathetic,
but since they obviously simply can't be bothered, I really don't see that
anyone is obliged to cater for their needs.
If you say you'll do something, I'm likely to take you at your
word, and expect you to do it. Failure to do so is liable to be noted,
and incorporated into my understanding and expectations of you (ii.e.
I'm likely to stop believing you when you say you'll do something).
Patronizing computer user interfaces
I want to be able to issue commands causing programs and parts of
programs to be run to carry out my every wish. I don't want to pretend
that I'm shuffling pieces of paper on a desk. I don't like WYSIWYG systems,
because they don't present the structural information that I find
essential in editing a document. My mind works at a higher level of
abstraction than the appearance of the document.
People who whistle.
It's not just whistling, making other noises without
consideration for other people is just as bad. I don't think it's the
actual noise that annoys me as the lack of consideration.
Telephone sales calls
Joining the Mailing Preference Service gets rid of most of these,
``except for some local ones'' according to their brochure. The
most persistent pest round here is Zenith Double
Glazing, and I urge you to boycott them. They don't
stop ringing however many times you tell them you're not
interested. I wasn't prepared to lie and pretend to be in
rented accomodation, but I eventually went beyond the law by
ringing their office back and threatening physical violence to
their sales director if I got even one more call. I haven't
heard from them since! Obviously their phone sales supervisors
didn't want to be held responsible for getting their boss
beaten up. I know lots of people would think that I acted
immorally by doing this, but as far as I'm concerned they're
just a bunch of weasels out for whatever they can get, and I
have no sympathy for them when they get abused. As far as I'm
concerned, they're not entitled to take my time in an attempt
to make money.
These don't actually have to have dogs to be annoying. They're
the people who go for a walk slowly past you, staying in your vicinity
for a long time, when you're bursting to pee behind a bush.
Fierce dogs that look like they might just get out and chase you.
I can sometimes bark these down -- if you bark at a dog, really
savagely, it can be so surprised that it will run away in absolute
terror. If it doesn't, you can still have a fun barking match.
People doing things they know (or think) you can't stop them doing
For example, thick kids kicking a football in your direction
when you're carrying something fragile. They know you can't
catch them (or not all of them) and that our wet, pro-criminal
western law doesn't let you thump them -- or even destroy the
ball. The smugness this sort then evidently feel is very
aesthetically displeasing to me.
Large groups of people who block the pavement and don't get out of the
This is common in foreign visitors; it seems to be commonest
among those or mediterraneant origin, although the Japanese,
despite the common reputation for politeness, also sometimes do
it on a large scale. I remember the surprise of a large bunch
of tourists blocking a pavement in
Bath as they took no measure for me to do anything other than
step into the road as though they had every right to take
whatever they liked regardless of anyone else, and I walked
through the lot as though they weren't there -- I am heavy,
strong, and had a heavy rucksack (back-pack) on at the time. (A
friend later observed ``They must have thought you were
Swiss!''!) Another time, some drunks were occupying the
path along the Backs, Cambridge, and I didn't step aside for
them; hearing feeble shouts behind me, I looked back and saw
that the impact of me bumping into them at walking pace had
knocked one of them flat onto his back the other side of a low fence.
The rage immature drivers show when you don't let them overtake you
I don't know who they are trying to think they are, but it is
strange to see how great their hatred is when they can't
manipulate you into letting them do just what they want. They
don't like me not speeding up when they tailgate me, either (I
have a heavy station wagon, built like a Sherman, with a
massive towing bracket... if I were to stop suddenly, anybody
tailgating me would be written off, quite possibly without
getting as far as any of my paintwork). Later... I now have
a Land Rover -- I rarely get
Bureaucrats who reckon they can stop you doing something you're
entitled to do
but I do like to see the surprise they experience when you shoulder
down your office door that they have refused to give you they key for.
People who hog shared resources without regard for others
You may have noticed that, for example, some people can use
things like the sink, the toaster etc very slowly taking absolutely no
notice of other people waiting for them.
How boring can you get? I'll write a proper rant about this sometime; for
now, let's just say that people who can't make their own entertainment
or find something useful to do do not, in general, appeal to me.
Those who think they're entitled to use anything they can get
their hands on.
This includes mineral companies taking natural resources, and
the tourist trade invading colleges so they can make money.